Movies 71-80: The Disappointments

OK, let's get this list going again ...

80. "Elizabeth: The Golden Age": Man, talk about a letdown of a sequel. Yes, Blanchett's still fine. She's probably second to Jennifer Jason Leigh in "Margot at the Wedding" for the Frances McDormand in Laurel Canyon award for best performance in a bad movie. But the writing and plotting fluctuate between ludicrous and dull. Plays more like a soap opera than a historical piece and what history they do have is kind of laughably portrayed (Clive Owen almost singlehandedly destroying the Spanish Armada anyone?). A massive disappointment all the way around.

79. "Reign Over Me": Adam Sandler is the best thing about this film. Yes, that is weird to write. The psycho stalker storyline doesn't work; Don Cheadle is given next to nothing to do; and it manages to squeeze 30 minutes of decent material into a two-hour-long film. The trailer was far more interesting than the movie was.

78. "Disturbia": The fact that it isn't "Rear Window" isn't exactly a surprise. Given the generally good notices, though, I expected it to be suspenseful and entertaining. Unfortunately, the set up takes so long that there is no time for the suspicions to simmer, no time for the "is he or isn't he" suspense to build. Hopefully it encourages younger audiences to seek out Hitchcock's classic, though. That possibility might be the best thing about it.

77. "Stardust": I kept waiting for this film to get good. It seemed to always be on the verge of it. Unfortunately, it just never really does for any real length of time. Robert De Niro is kind of painful as a cross-dressing pirate and the leads are just pretty bland.

76. "Death Proof": Another of those massive disappointments. I thought everyone said Tarentino's film was supposed to be the better of the Grindhouse movies, not just the less interesting. Kurt Russell gives a stellar performance as "Stuntman Mike," but his performance is the only thing to really recommend here. Tarentino just never lets himself go enough here. The dialogue is banal to the extreme and every single part seems to be a series of exceptionally tightly controlled artistic choices, which wouldn't be a problem except for two things: 1. Wasn't "Grindhouse" supposed to be an exercise in schlocky, so-bad-it's-good filmmaking and 2. Most of them just don't work.

75. "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End": There are interesting bits and pieces here. The problem is the elegiac tone that the filmmakers tried to infuse into some parts clashes with everything else in the movie. If you're going to make it darker, commit to it. Otherwise the film just feels disjointed and the darker elements undermine the the fun (which wasn't really all that much fun to begin with).

74. "We Own the Night": The film's first five or ten minutes are brilliant. Unfortunately the rest is by-the-book and just downright uninteresting. With this storyline and these actors, this coul have been a real winner. Instead, well, it's No. 74.

73. "National Treasure: Book of Secrets": There's some amount of dumb fun here, and Helen Mirren is a nice addition to the cast, but very little differentiates it from the first, including one giant set piece that seems almost exactly the same.

72. "The Kite Runner": This film epitomizes why I am thoroughly scared that Marc Forster is directing the next James Bond movie. Sometimes it simply seems as though he has become allergic to taking any chances. The first half of this film, focusing on the children, is good in the same safe way that Forster's "Finding Neverland" was good. Unfortunately, the second half, with its long abandonment of the main story thread and its surprise revelation never really clicks and Forster never really seems to want to do anything to elevate it.

71. "Live Free or Die Hard": Not the worst action film, and there are a few good lines from Justin Long, but the entire thing reaches a level of ludicrousness that eliminates any real suspense, and the villain, well, let's just say he is definitely no Hans Gruber.

Up next is 61-70, featuring the year's two most disappointing documentaries.